In honor of the new year, we've asked several FearLess contributors to share their thoughts on resolutions, New Year's or otherwise, and especially as they relate to helping others, living fearlessly and being your authentic self. They responded with wisdom, tenderness and compassion. Enjoy!

"Love Without Props"

I'd torn my rotator cuff and had the surgery to repair it and done the rehab. Compared to the knee surgeries I'd had, the rehab for my shoulder seemed, well, too easy. Small movements with what are basically big rubber bands. Some pain and no sweating involved. As a former college athlete, this just felt wrong.

I asked the surgeon about this and he explained that, as an athlete, I spent a lot of time building my bigger muscles and kept the smaller muscles and connective tissues strong in practice and games, through actually playing basketball. As I got older and stopped playing, I kept lifting and keeping the bigger muscles strong, but the connective tissue and muscles weren't being used as often, and had weakened. This experience helped me look at what's happened in our world recently a bit different. The phrase that popped into my head was "too small to fail." 

We're all guilty of building the big muscles of our society in peril because they're easy to see and feel. Modern day to day life and employment demands they be strong. Maybe worst of all, the fear of not doing is that we might lose our jobs or the opportunities we want for our children. The myopic development of these big muscles through longer hours and lower wages, confusing standards of living with quality of life, leaves the connective tissues of families at risk as well. 

If the last few years have taught me anything, it is what my surgeon was telling me. Without the connective tissue and small muscles, we can be consumed by own consumption.

2012 is my year of living and loving softly without props, showing others how important they are, and acting on the principle that no one is too small to fail.

by Doug Newburg

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"Save the World"

How about resolving to save the world? Save the world, have fun and spend more time with my beautiful children. That works. 

by John Bielenberg

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"Find Balance"

This year, I want to focus on living a balanced life. We live in a weird, fast-changing world dominated by a culture of mass consumption and scale. Society is telling us to focus on the wrong things and as a result we're wasting away our world and we don't even know it. I want to live in a world that has more of a conscience, more balance, and more happiness. I think if you look within and change yourself, you can change the world, so achieving better balance will be front of mind for me this year.

Being an eccentric and passionate person makes it especially difficult to strike a balance because I just get so excited about things to the point of being consumed by them. I don't function well in the middle, I thrive on the fringes and in extremes, which is a bit anti-balance. I think passion is a great thing though and by no means do I want to change this about myself.

Instead, I want to spend more time pursuing a better mix of passions. For example, I'm passionate about the ventures I'm working on and plan to commit lots of time to them, much more than I would for a full time job. I also get really excited about learning new things, traveling, spending time with friends and family, extreme sports, photography, being outdoors, going on bike rides, getting lost, cooking, meeting new people, smelling flowers, seeing beautiful things and laughing until my stomach hurts and my eyes water, just to name a few. So, every week, I am going to ask myself, "Am I balanced?" and consciously carve out time so I can enjoy all the great things that spread joy in the world.

It's easy to say 'I wish I had more time for _____." Stop wishing and start making it happen. Life is so precious and way too short to spend it complaining and dreaming about all the things you could/should do. Dreams are great and all, committing to making them real is so much better though.

by Muffadal Saylawala

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"Love Something Bigger than Yourself"

Thoughts on 2012:

Work hard.

Love fearlessly.

Eat like you matter.

Listen.

Get outside.

Do something brave.

But above all, love something bigger than yourself. Because it will inspire you with the courage that you need to fear less and do more.

by Robyn O'Brien

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"Slow Down"

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. Not because I’m flawless, but because I’ve never needed New Year’s Day to take action on something about myself that needed changing or tightening. But I made a resolution today. It happened after picking up my daughters at school. While waiting in the carpool line, I watched my girls walk out of a group of children and stand in a spot along a semi-circle next to a teacher. As I drove up, I caught their eyes. They smiled. Then everything went into slow motion. With every revolution of my tires, a year in their lives passed. They were babies. Then they were learning to ride bikes. There were summer vacations at the beach. Happy Christmases. Laughs. Tears. Life. I pulled up next to them, and as they hopped in they greeted me with “Hi Daddy.” Just like they always do.

Just like they’ll stop doing before I realize it.

Time is funny; when we’re in it, we don’t realize that a moment is all we have. Rather, we spend our time reinforcing our historical credibility for the promise of a brighter future. Moments are things most of us take for granted. Except for poets. Poets slow time down into significant moments while the rest of us pass them by on our way to other things.

Seeing my daughters waiting for me in the carpool line today was like poetry. I knew immediately that this moment would be one of the scenes that flash before my eyes on my deathbed.

2011 was the fastest year of my life. That’s why my resolution this year is to slow things down. It’s ironic that my New Year’s resolution is based in time, but time is relative. All we really have are moments.

by Jim Mitchem

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"Go Selfless and Go Big"

In my experience, the more selfless a New Year’s resolution is, the more likely you are to stick with it. Also, the less specific it is, the more opportunities you’ll have to carry it out. The goal setter in you may balk at this, but a resolution is not a goal. It’s an intended behavior. 

Let’s say your resolution for 2012 is, “To stop working for myself and start working for the world.” It may seem a little vague, but every time you have a decision to make, you can ask yourself, “Who am I working for?” Nothing vague about that.

I used to have a big problem with arguing. I mean to the point where people avoided engagement. I’d made many resolutions to stop, but they never took. Then, one afternoon, I was rattling my saber in a meeting when a co-worker said, “Tom, you’re not helping.” Embarrassed, I resolved right then to start helping. That resolution took. And while I focused on helping—the arguing went away. Just like that.

In retrospect, I can see that arguing was a small part of a much bigger problem—self-centeredness. That’s why resolving to stop arguing didn’t work. Resolving to help, on the other had, was the antidote to the whole problem.

So that’s the secret: go selfless and go big.

One final thing—you may fail your resolution many, many times. But the opportunities you’ll have to carry it out will dwarf those failures.

The odds are on your side.

by Thomas Brzezina

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"Connect Meaningfully"

1. Connect meaningfully with the right people. Living alone in Mississippi has taught me one very important lesson: Life is about people. One of my efforts this year (and beyond) will be to prioritize those that are engaging and challenging. This exercise means going beyond simply finding cool people I want to hang out with or those I want to network with so I can 'get ahead.' It's about forming relationships and an honest-to-goodness in the flesh social network. I tend to be introverted and struggle to cultivate relationships so this will require a good deal of effort on my part. Sorry in advance to those old friends (or people I want to be my friend, or random people on the street, whatever) who I awkwardly call up out of the blue.

2. Think before I spend. I mentioned the importance of this in my previous post. Conscious spending is something we aren't trained to do. Instead we prioritize convenience and thrift when spending our money; I know I'm regularly guilty of behaving that way. So in the new year I'll make an effort to spend my money in a way that will help create an economy that I want to support. Local restaurants and bookstores are sort of the obvious examples but I'm hoping to learn of other, more meaningful ways to use my resources proactively as a consumer.

3. Get rejected more. Perhaps the most difficult one for me. On a personal and social level I'm fairly risk averse. I don't ever approach girls or try to organize hangouts and I even have second thoughts about whether or not to publish posts I write. Instead, I'm going to make it a priority to "put myself out there." I think my first resolution covers the social aspect but I also want to be more vocal about my thoughts and ideas and pursue opportunities I may not have otherwise.

by Hassan Khan

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"Find a Way to Serve"

In the coming year, I hope to let go of the question, "What should I do?" and ask instead, "How can I serve?" The former is a selfish, fearful question, the latter filled with generosity and fearlessness. I have a feeling the answer leads me to my next great adventure.

by Robin Cangie

Illustrated resolution by Rachel Marshall
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